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I finally figured it out. The first line of the documentation was wrong. I’m not sure when the API changed to use ES6 modules (semver is v28 currently, if that tells you anything about its volatility) but apparently the official documentation site wasn’t reviewed. Whoever updated it with googleapis@27 but didn’t test the new version needs to take a few minutes and think about why testing is important. To quote JPL’s coding standard,

Rule 2 (routine checking) All code shall always be compiled with all compiler warnings enabled at the highest warning level available, with no errors or warnings resulting… This rule should be considered routine practice, even for non-critical code development.